Critique

Ah, I love the word critique. It sounds so light and jumpy and fairy-like. Hehe, to some of you, I may be known as a unicorn fair princess.

Back to topic, I happened to be wondering: would any of you like to submit your work for critiquing? I would love to revise work that isn't mine, and to be able to either give tips or learn for my own writing. And in exchange, you could revise mine.

This is a bit more of my gain, since I want to edit someone else's to improve my writing, and I want someone to do mine, but it would be fun, don't you think?

Tell me what you think!

New Quickwrite

It's an Emerald one! Because I'm trying to write a good chapter 1, I'll probably keep doing this until I get something good.

   “Amy! Hi!” Sav hurried up to one of her friends, Amethyst. “Hey, what's up?”

   “Oh hey, Sav. Nothing much. You?” Brushing her gorgeous brown locks back behind her ear, Amy looked at her directly.

   Sav shrugged. “Same. You want to go to the mall?” Living in a mansion, and having all the money her parents for some reason purposely left behind, she could always afford to go indulge in some products.

   “Now?” At first Amy looked a bit nervous. Then her slightly tanned face brightened. “Yeah, sure! I'm pretty sure I'm free. We should call everyone else, too.”

   “Oh, yeah. We probably should.” Sav laughed. From the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar face walking up to her. “Hey, um, why don't we go look for them now?” She took Amy's hand and began heading the opposite way.

   Amy glanced where Sav had seen the familiar face and laughed. “Yeah, I agree. Let's check out Baker's locker. She'll probably be there, prettying herself up!”

   As the two approached her locker, and avoided the figure who seemed to be following them, they saw three boys standing around Baker, watching her apply her makeup. Sav pushed through the crowd first. “Whoa, whoa whoa. What are you guys doing here? And Alec, you're supposed to be looking for me,” she chastised, glaring mockingly at her boyfriend.

   “Agreed.” Amy found her way to stand next to Sav. “So, you people want to head over to the mall?” she asked.

   Sav didn't wait for their response. Instead she stared at Baker, so accidentally got a little mascara on her cheek. Before she could react, Ian, the boy who had been watching her intently, used his thumb to wipe it off. They both blushed.

   Smiling to herself, Sav decided she must get them together.

   Darren was laughing, when she turned her attention back. “You're asking me if I want to go to the mall? A dude like me?” He seemed about to yell no loudly, but then his face quieted and simply said, “Sure, why not?” She saw Amy glaring at him.

   “Okay, so who is taking us?” Alec finally spoke up. Although he was sixteen, a year older than she, he still couldn't drive them around yet, which kind of sucked.

   Sighing, Saw replied, “I'll ask my brother.” Technically, he shouldn't have been able to drive alone yet, only seventeen years of age, however living alone seemed to have changed the requirements. She spotted him talking to her stalker. “Or...not.”

   “Oh, come on.” Ian said the words. “You can't possibly avoid your sister forever. “Go talk. We need a ride.”

   “But-”

   “No, but, Sav,” Baker piped in, “we really need a ride!”

Sav gave in. “Fine, fine! I'll go talk to them.” As she made her way towards the pair, she sensed Alec next to her.

   “Hey,” he breathed in her ear. She couldn't resist a smile. He always stood with her.

   Sav stopped in front of her brother, trying to ignore her clone standing by him. “Spencer. We need a ride.”

   Her brother rolled his eyes. “Where to now?” After noticing Sav's glare, he replied. “The mall again? Nice. But anyway, you can't. You're needed at home.”

   “Oh, really, am I? Well that's too bad., because I'm not coming-”

   “It's about our parents?”

   Sav's breath caught in her throat. Their parents, parents of four children, mysteriously abandoned them right after their youngest brother was born. They just left them like that, and Spencer had always said that he would tell them what happened when they were ready. Which he said was sixteen years of age. They were only fifteen. Why had he decided hey were ready?

   “Can it wait till evening?” she half begged.

   Spencer looked thoughtful. “Alright...but I'm not happy about this.”

   Sav smiled. Unlike Sarina, her identical sister and stalker, Spencer behaved more reasonable. He always acted more responsible, perhaps for the reason that he was older, and he had had to mature faster to take care of them. Yet he still annoyed her.

   “Now explain to me why you were avoiding your sister.”

   Looking sideways at her twin, Sav shrugged. “I was?” The truth was, she never liked being seen around with her. While Sav ruled the school, Sarina ruled the nerds.

   “Savannah.” Spencer stared at her questioningly.

   She also hated being called Savannah. Though it was futile to correct Spencer. He always did what he liked. But Sarina for some reason thought she could call her that too, and Sav always hated her for it.

   “I was in a hurry, okay? Now can we please go?”

   Spencer smiled knowingly. “Yes. We shall leave.”

~01/28/12

New Look

Needless to say, I changed the blog's features. What do you think?

Christmas

Yes, I can guess what you're thinking. "What the heck, it's not going to be Christmas for like a year now."

Well, let's ponder on the last Christmas we had. Or all Christmases. What is the date for it? The 25th, that's right. And what is the date today? The 25th, correct! You are now officially awes- extraordinary!

I don't know why, I just found the need to post that it's been exactly a month since one of the most treasured times of the year. Exactly one month since we received presents, exactly one month from the time when we stayed up late and woke early. Oh, happy times.

I may have also posted this bec- for the reason that I didn't have anything to post today and I want to give you more chances to earn a prize, though I've given enough.

That's enough for now, I had a difficult time avoiding forbidden words, tata!

New Quickwrite

   “Alec...,”

   “Hey, Sav. What's up?”

   Sav stared at him for a moment, then smiled. “Nothing. Nothing at all. Want to go for a movie tonight?”

   Alec's eyes looked amused. “Sorry. Not today.”

   “Oh. Alright then,” Sav replied, not peeling her sea green eyes away from his brown eyes. A voice from the other end of the hall startled her and Alec both. He pulled away, his eyes glittering.

   “Guess you gotta go?”

   A laugh escaped from Sav's throat. “Yeah. Curse my sister, I guess.” She spun around to face Sarina glaring at her.

   “That doesn't look like studying to me,”her sister accused.

   Had Sarina been interested, she could have looked exactly like Sav. Being identical twins, it was never hard. The same lush blond hair Sav grew, Sarina cut. The same big eyes that Sav glared with, Sarina hid behind a pair of glasses.

   She looked cute, but it doesn't exactly keep her at the top of the school. Like Sav.

   “Do I look like I care?” Sav rolled her eyes at her sister. “Since when do you know me to care about what I get on a test?” She looked around to see if anyone was watching. Sav hated being seen around school with her sister. “Look. Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

   “We don't hate time for somewhere else, Savannah-”

   “Sav.”

   “Your French period is in one minute. You need to study now.”

   She shrugged. “Or, we could go to the bathroom and switch around so you can take my Final, and I'll go do Gym for you. Don't even try to pretend that you like that class.” Sav stared at her, willing her to listen.

Sarina stared back at her incredulously. “We've been over this so many times. I am not going to let you get out the easy way. Besides, we can't. You'd need to cut your hair and I'd need to magically grow mine. You think that's even possible?”

   That's why Sarina cut her hair. So Sav would stop bugging her.

   “Well then why don't you stop annoying me about studying and doing well?”

   Sarina sighed, exasperation flitting across her face. Anything she was about to say got cut off by the sound of the bell ringing. Before Sav could turn and hurry away, she said, “Spencer won't be happy.”

   Sav ignored her remark, and just caught up to her two friends, Ian and Baker, who were also heading to her class. The two of them happened to be extremely good at school, but still looked up to Sav and followed her fashion example.

   “Sav! Hi!” Baker waved her over. “Saw you talking to Sarina back there. Didn't want to disturb the two sisters,” she snickered, knowing how much Sav enjoyed being in Sarina's company. “What did she want?”

   “Oh, just the normal study and we'll all be happy rubbish.” Save laughed along with Baker and Ian.   Although they did well in school, they also knew how futile it was to talk to her about it.

~01/24/12

I was going to add more, but I didn't feel like it; also I need to sleep.

Challenge in Details

Well. Unfortunately, I have reach twenty followers. I am afraid that next time, I will set my expectations higher. And now I suppose I must post the challenge details.

Rules:
I will not say any of the forbidden words. Neither in a post, nor in the Cbox. And not in the comments either, though I get none.
Now. If any of you notice me using one of the forbidden words, you must alert me right away. And ask for a prize. The prizes are...interesting. (Was about to use a word OMG! Actually, two. LOLZ)
You may ask me for any of the prizes I have offered. Since this is completely virtual, I cannot give anything physical. But I can give you some of my specialty, writing.
Therefore, you can own something personal, from me to you.

Forbidden Words:
GASP! NOW I HAVE TO SAY THEM!
Awesome
Good
Cool
Pretty
Really
A lot
Because
Had been
Amazing
Weird
A ton
Anyway
So
Things

Prizes and Types of Each:
Poems ~ You, Me, Nature, Animals, Life
Songs ~ Love, Friendship, Life
Drawings ~ Animals, Fictional Character, Scene
Quickwrite ~ Your life, My life, Random
Random Rambling ~ Anything
Story Idea ~ Ask for details
Wallpaper ~ Anyone famous
Essay ~ Sneak peek at one of my worst writing pieces
Your published writing ~ I'll post something you send me
My old writing OR one of my brother's stories ~ They are so cute! Some of them I just have to laugh when I read
Truth ~ Ask me any question and I'll answer it honestly.
Mad Libs ~ Relating to any of my stories or quickwrites

I'll add more prizes if I think of them.

I believe that is it...oh wait one more...point! This challenge will go on for a month, till exactly February 23rd. Unless we all happen to forget. Haha have fun! Keep a close eyes on every single word of mine!

Challenge

If I get 2 more followers, so I'll have 20, I'll do a challenge. One that you can benefit from, kind of. Since I don't know you personally, I can't really give you much. But I decided to follow Kayla and Jessica's example in bribery so I can get more followers. I just hope that it works.

So in my previous post, it had come to my attention that when I write, my vocabulary isn't the greatest. So if I get two more followers, I will not use the words good, awesome, and best, when I post or chat in the Cbox from then on. Only if I get two more followers.

What's in it for you? It improves my writing, but what do you gain from this? If I ever slip, and say one of the three forbidden words, you can choose something. I will either write a poem, song, RR, or quickwrite for or about you. Or, you can ask me any question, and I will answer it as honestly as I possibly can. So basically you'll have something special just for you, from me, the most amazing, awesome person ever.

Yes, I said awesome. Do you have a problem with that? I don't have my twenty followers yet. So ask your friends to follow, ask your families, or anyone who might be interested. Or yourself, if you haven't yet. Only one rule. Do not follow from another account if you have more. I have ways of finding out, you know, as the owner of the blog.

So are you up for it? If you are, then I hope to start soon!

~Memememememe

Idea credit: Kayla and Jessica

Adventures of Tin Tin

As depicted from the title, this post is about the movie The Adventures Of Tin Tin. Well today, we decided to go see it in 3D.

FYI, I know this is a writing blog. But movies have plots that are related to writing, and can't I post my life, too?

So I never read the comics of it, but my parents had, so they wanted to see the movie. We went today, and got our 3D glasses and everything, and sat down. The first thing I noticed when I walked into the auditorium was, Wow this has to be the smallest theater I've ever seen. Just a random thought, you know. Well anyway, we found good seats, surprisingly, since the small room already had the best seats taken.

Now, my brother is five and a half and he watches TV all the time. Or at least wants to. So we keep telling him scary stuff about how he'll get glasses and how they hurt and how his eyes will water. So what did he do when we handed him the 3D glasses? Well, since it was my mom and I who had drilled it into his mind, and I happened to be sitting next to him, I felt it was my job to convince him that these were okay but still have him scared of watching too much TV. Well, I managed it. What can I say? I'm good at manipulation.

Anyway, the movie was awesome. I understand that the word awesome is overused (especially by me) and should probably be what my teachers call a dead word. But it's an awesome word, awesome, and perfectly descriptive. Back to the movie. It was really good, with a cool plot and everything.

It makes me want to read the comics, even though I'm not that fond of those. I'd rather read books. But seeing the movie makes me want to read it, and that's saying something.

All in all, The Adventures of Tin Tin was pretty good.

Blogs

Hey guys, since I know how hard it is to keep a blog running, and how depressing it is when no one sees it, I have decided to post some of my favorite blogs, blogs that I feel are worth reading because they are good. It takes work to get on my blog list, so don't just give a link and expect me to put it up. If I think it's worthy, I will put it up. No pressure or anything.

So you may have seen these two people, Kayla and Jessica, come and advertise in the chat box. Well they (especially Jessica lol) hardly get any views on my blog, and I know what it's like to struggle, since I currently am too. So it would mean a lot to them and to me if you would check out their blogs, comment, chat, etc, because they are friends that have awesome blogs.

So I posted them on the side, this is my blog list, I'll occasionally put blogs up there. Check them out! Because they are worth it!

New Quickwrite

Here is another quickwrite on the story of Jroch, Leon, and Dove!

  Jroch quietly, slid into the house threw the open window, and examined his surroundings. Darkness engulfed the room, and he could only see what stood just in front of him.
  A man. An angry man. He seemed to be a a statue, until he suddenly bellowed, "Intruder!" As if they had been practicing for this moment, footsteps thundered on the upper floor, where they made their way closer to him. Why aren't they running?
  Then he found himself shoved forward, and immediately grabbed his knife.
  "You are surrounded. Surrender, criminal."
  Ignoring the warning the man had given, Jroch shrugged and responded, "What, so you don't know my name? I'm offended. Thought I was famous enough. Guess I'm just have to bring more fame to my name."
  Jroch thought he heard a giggle from the side. So now children were being taught to use weapons?
  "Impossible," the man replied. "Everyone here is armed. You'll be dead before you can make a move."
  "I see. Well I don't really see. 'Cause I can't, exactly. It's quite dark here, have you noticed?"
  Another giggle. A few actually, though hushed by a woman. Jroch couldn't resist a smile. He remembered when he was younger, and Dove had been like that. Even blind, Jroch had been able to make her laugh at everything. They were happy then. What had changed so dramatically to make their lives so precarious today? Though Jroch refused to believe it, he knew clearly who had done it.
  The man sighed. Jroch spoke up. "You wouldn't happen to have guns too, would you?" he mused, trying to make his voice frightened.
  "We do. So you'd best not make a move."
  "Ah. Well I might try to escape, so you should tell me where the gun is, so I don't manage to bump into it, knock it down, and have it accidentally shoot someone."
  All was silent for a while, the man knowing where he was heading, but also weighing in the risk of what might happen. "It's on your right," he said finally.
  "Right...here?" Jroch asked, smirking, as he felt it, grabbed it away from the man who held it, and stabbed him with his knife.
  "Attack!" the first man shouted.
  Jroch sighed. "Stop," he said, and everyone halted. "I have a gun. Will you really want to lose all your lives trying to kill me?"
  There was no response.
  "Now. Since we're all calm here, I'd like someone to turn on the light so I can see who I'm dealing with."
  At first no one moved, then he heard footsteps.
~01/21/12

I'll post more later, I just got bored of writing and stopped there for now.

Anyway, guess what! Today is Boo Boo Stewart's birthday! He is eighteen now. Hehe only four years older than me. Just wait. Just wait and see. Lol I'm joking, sheesh.

I'm in a super mood right now. Maybe because I'm obsessed with the song The One That Got Away by Katy Perry, and I'm thinking of doing a cover for it, which I a unfortunately not allowed to put online, but I've been listening to the song and I like it. Haha. Run on sentence. Exactly what a writer should be doing right?

New RR

Tears

Tears. The single drop of water that drips from your eyes. The wetness that disrupts the serenity of your cheeks. The silent indication of your inner feelings.

Maybe they do not reflect on the inner feelings. Maybe it's just a fluke, that may only be portraying the shell of your soul. Whichever, both are similar enough that the tears are the same. Each tear trickles down your cheek to nowhere.

Sometimes you cry for no reason. Sometimes life may seem so frustrating or impossible that all you can do is sit down and cry and think about those who committed suicide and how maybe they had the right idea. Why live when you have nothing to live for? Sometimes your human nature catches hold of you, and tangles you into a mess you can't free yourself from. Or at least muddles your brain enough to make you feel that way.

Even the happiest moments of your life are not so happy. They may be tainted with bitterness, controlling your mind to start shutting down, to start hating the miserable world around you. And then the tears spill out.

The tears. Be mindful of the tears. They only dramatize situations, though may help you feel more control in yourself enough to start enjoying the nature around you. But they leave every memory bittersweet, and should be controlled as much as possible.
~01/18/12

POINTE SHOES

As I've said in the past, I am a dancer. Not an incredibly advanced dancer, but a dancer all the same.


One of the two biggest stereotypes in ballet is that we always stand on our toes. The other is that we always spin around in circles with our arms above our heads, but I'm not talking about that. By the way, yes we do both. But the toes. Straight up on our toes. Did you know that we can't do that without years and years of training, without years of intense work, just strengthening our legs?

Well in December, a bunch of my dance friends and I received the wonderful news that we would be going en pointe in January. We weren't allowed to buy our shoes till then because they didn't want us to outgrow our feet before we started using them.

So, we decided to go all together as a group, and called it the Pointe Party. The owner of the store we had planned to go to said she would open the store just for us, and she would give us cookies and etc too!

Then we decided to eat out, and there was an Italian place nearby. So the moms planned out the whole Pointe Party, and when did they set the date? 14th of January! Halfway through the month! If it were me, I'd get it the second the store opened in January.

So when was the 14th? Yesterday, of course! So yesterday, at four o'clock, we all met at Prima, the store, and began a two hour long event to fit pointe shoes.

Oh my gosh it was so much fun! I ended up getting the Grishkos 2007. On Tuesday, we're going to show our teacher, and if he gives the okay, we can stitch everything on and then start our pointe training!

By the way, no need to warn me: I already know how it's going to be painful, and how I'm going to regret going en pointe. But I'm excited all the same!


~Catasha

New Quickwrite

So well the reason I haven't been on lately, was because I'd been grounded from my computer. But Now I'm back! And here with a new quickwrite! It's a Celadon one. Enjoy.

  The shrouds of a shrill scream echoed in the thick air, alerting any functioning ear surrounding it, that mystery still escaped from their brain. They rushed towards it.

   Char stopped. Then, with a gasp, he sprinted back to where he left Fawn. She lay on the rough, tan ground, blood mingling with the dirt surrounding her.

   “Fawn!” he cried, rushing to her side. He gazed at her helplessly as she murmured something unintelligent.

   Finally, thinking quickly, he lifted her up and took her to a building he'd vowed never to enter. Standing just outside the mansion, he braced himself and opened the door.

   Dust settled in a fine, thick layer on all the furniture and floors, which hadn't been touched in years. An all too familiar hallway stretched before him, its walls echoing dark secrets of his past. Gathering his thoughts, he quietly shut the door behind him and walked in, trying to convince himself nothing had happened.

   Char knew his way around. Dreams of this place haunted him ever since, and it seemed like a nightmare coming to life, and only just realizing the dawning feeling that it's not the same.

  Staggering at the sight, Char gripped onto the table next to him, before he looked at it in horror and stepped away. Only dust ruined the perfection the room gleamed. All traces of the blood that had been spilled here was gone. His blood. All clean. And the table...the table that the glass had broken on and given themselves away. The corner where his brother died. The door next to where he had been stabbed.

   A soft, high-pitched sound brought him back to the present. Looking down, Char realized Fawn was coming around. “Hi,” he said awkwardly when she fixed her eyes on him.

   “H-home...?” the tiny, barely audible sound escaped from her mouth.

   “Yeah. Don't worry. I'm going to take care of you.”

  Fawn's eyes wandered around the room. After a few moments, her eyes faxed on his again. Char raised his eyebrows in question.

   “Oh. Oh.” Fawn replied, her eyes brimmed with...sympathy? No, more like fear. Sympathetic fear maybe.

   Char didn't need to ask to know she was remembering the same incident he was. Evidently, Fawn had come after the fighting was over and Ash threatened her to keep silent. All while he was unconscious.

   “Where's your room?” he asked, ignoring the subject.

   “Put me down, I'll show you,” Fawn replied, glaring at him, as if daring him to argue.

   Char glanced down at the wound in her leg. “No.” As soon as he spoke the words, he realized nothing would let her give in. Sighing, he tried to add dramatic effect.

   “Put. Me. Down.” Her eyes were blazing now, and it seemed she would have slapped him or gotten up herself if she was strong enough.

   Rolling his eyes, and knowing it was futile to argue, he replied, “Fine. But you at least have to let me help you,” as he carefully set her down steadily on her legs. He heard a sharp intake of breath once she tried to lean away from him, and he gripped her tightly.

   “I'm fine, I'm fine,” she retorted softly, sounding like she was convincing herself.

  "Sure," he replied, not bothering to argue when she was in pain. "Where's your room?"

  Slowly, Fawn raised her arm and pointed to a nearby room. "My room is a few stories high, but we can go there."

  Despite her protesting, Char held her tight, and more than guided her the few steps to the room. Once he settled her down onto the sofa resting decoratively in the center, he scratched his head uncertainly and glanced at her. "So, er, I'm a bit new to the whole healing business. So...." He broke off as her saw her bite her lip. "You're laughing at me," he commented flatly.

  "No, of course not," she giggled, then regained her composure. "Oh, just wash it, then wrap it up."

  Char stared at her face blankly.

  "You wash the wound thoroughly, then get a towel or something and wrap it around so the bleeding will stop," she explain exasperatedly. "Don't you get even a few small things?"

  "Sorry," he replied, grinning. "Illiterate. Street boy, 'member?"

  Char didn't listen for her response, staring at a sparkle that had caught his eye. He could see inside a large glass cupboard, glistening jewels. His old instinct to take it and run began to creep back into his mind, urging him to take a closer look. "Do you, uh, mind if I explore a bit?"

  Fawn followed his gaze. "Sure. But you won't be able to get anything, anyway."

  "I've opened those before," he spoke softly, mostly to himself, though Fawn could probably hear him. He didn't want to be attracted to the riches, but he couldn't help himself. 

  Finally, Char tore his gaze away from it. He set out to do dress Fawn's wound, then brought a blanket - a beautiful, silk, soft one - and laid it over her. Kneeling beside her, he said, "You should get some rest now. At least until it stops hurting."

  "Where will you be?" she asked quietly, already beginning to drift off to sleep.

  "Out. I'm not very comfortable here."
  "Oh." For a moment, he just stared into Fawn's eyes, trying to read them. It took a lot of effort to look away from her.
  "Well. Bye. G'night."

~01/12/12