A Rewrite

   Dizziness engulfed her, the unfamiliar scene pirouetting before her eyes. Something sharp prodded her, and Kaiya managed to focus her eyes enough to see a boy with startling gray eyes and slightly ruffled light brown hair falling carelessly on his face. In his hand, he clutched a blunt spear as if his life depended on it, though his face seemed to have the innocence of a fifteen year old, the same as she.

  After a few moments of painful struggling, Kaiya managed to haul herself to an uncomfortable sitting position.   Her victory was short-lived, immediately a knife kissed her throat, the boy leaning in close. From the short distance, and as her mind slowly stopped twirling, she noticed his clothes were torn, his face showed the struggle of an old man trying to make a life for himself. Though pity inched itself in, Kaiya was mostly overwhelmed by fear.

  “Where did you come from?” he sneered menacingly, leaning in close to her, attempting to pose a threat to her. Unwilling to answer to a stranger, she broke free of his grasp, flinching as the knife scratched her, and ran a few steps away from him. Kaiya thought she could see a twinge of amusement curve the corners of his lips, though she couldn't be certain. Still overruled by fear, she picked up a medium sized rock and through it at him with all her strength.

  When it clattered to the ground closer to her than to him, he let out a laugh. A cruel laugh, the type that an enemy would laugh when he knew you had been defeated. The cruelness lit up his face, giving her a smile of dread before he turned around and stalked away.

  Relief reawakening her curiosity, Kaiya turned around and examined her surroundings. A sandy white beach was laid out before her, a thick jungle displayed next next to it.

One of my closest friends had to write a fictional narrative about survival for her English teacher. When she showed it to me, no offense but, it was so miserable that I was too tempted to rewrite it. Even she agreed, saying that she hadn't written like that since fifth grade. I would post what she wrote up here but I won't for the sake of embarrassment.  This isn't finished, because eventually I got bored of writing something not of my interest. And the rest of the piece she wrote was all alone, about surviving on some island. Not very entertaining. Anyway, hope you liked it!