My Disloyal Followers

Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Snippet of a Backstory of a Side Character in My Story

I have a character in my story named Solomon. He is a side character. He is a good guy. He was not always a good guy. Oh, and he is immortal. This is a snippet of when he was twenty-one, and not a few million years old.

"I choose you."

The girl backed away from him, trembling and looking around. She couldn't have been older than six, but her silky straight black hair reached her waist and she seemed to be devoid of the chubbiness that came with children her age.

"I decline," she answered, her voice trembling, still backing up while Solomon stepped forward.

He cursed. Now that she had said the formal words, it wouldn't be as easy to kill her. "Well I guess that's too bad then."

Before she could reply, she had backed into a wall and Solomon had sent the first wave of unbearable pain out. She fell to the ground, screaming that high pitched silly scream of young children. Solomon grinned and knelt down next to her and put his hand over her heart to suck out the magic she had.

He had taken everything but a tiny wisp when a woman's scream sounded behind him. "That is my daughter!" she yelled. Solomon turned to face her and noticed she had her husband with her. Both looked extremely angry. Of course they would be. Stealing magic was illegal and the girl hadn't even accepted the duel. Now he was killing her.

"Oh, how unfortunate," he taunted. His victory was short-lived because then an explosion threw him back away from the girl. Solomon rolled on the ground then crouched, facing the parents, a low growl beginning in his throat. He quickly built up his defenses around himself, multiple layers of shield that would prevent any lesser magic than his own from harming him. Then he grinned again. "I already took enough. You dear girl will not live for the next ten minutes."

He could feel their magic attacking him but being blocked and laughed. He was about to taunt them more when the couple suddenly intertwined their hands and shot magic at him.

It cut through his shields perfectly. Solomon howled in pain as their attacks kept coming. He couldn't move or defend himself, just shouting and writhing on the ground. The pain was incredible. He was hardly aware of the woman placing her hand on his chest to take the magic back.

Then suddenly the pain fell away. He rolled on to his stomach to prevent them from taking the magic, but they pulled him back. He couldn't do anything, just breathing hard and moaning.

"Are you going to kill me? Solomon whispered, looking up at the woman who was drawing the magic out.

She looked uncertain, but didn't break contact from his eyes. "No," she said finally. "I am just taking back what you stole."

He could feel half of the magic he had taken slipping away. Gathering his strength, he threw up more defenses, pushing the woman away. "That's enough," he breathed.

The woman shrugged. "I will fight with you if I must, and you are already too weak to hold your own." It was true, he knew, but he would never just allow someone to take it from him. He stared back at her relentlessly.

Again, the extreme pain. He screamed and tried to twist away from her, but this time she did not remove the pain while pulling out the magic. It was only when the last sliver of what he had taken from the girl remained, that she stopped both.

His hearing was fuzzy but he could barely make out what they were saying.

"We have to turn him in," the man grunted. His face when he looked at Solomon was pure hatred.

"Yes, but...I don't want to."

"He tried to kill her! He would have succeeded! This is illegal."

His wife did not reply, just looked down at Solomon, where he was too weak to move. "It hurts more when we force it out of you. Give us the remaining and you will be in less pain. If you do, I won't turn you in."

It was a good deal, for if he were turned in, much more worse things would be done to him. But his pride would not allow it. Instead of giving in, he sent out his own attack toward her, making her yelp and move away, but immediately then man had bound him down and sent his own burst of pain, worse than the previous. Solomon moaned and breathed hard, trying to blink the vision back in his eyes.

"He is too dangerous," the man told his wife.

She shook her head and put her hand on Solomon's heart again. "Last chance. If you do not comply, you will find yourself within the wrath of others who will not be so forgiving. Give me the magic."

This time Solomon acquiesced and allowed her to pull it out without fighting. Immediately after, the bonds on him were released, but he did not move, still too weak and in pain from before. He watched the girl's parents feed the magic back into her body, then pick her up. While the father walked away, the woman came back to him and lifted Solomon off of the ground. "You'll want to leave before you get caught."

He managed to nod, but barely. He was leaning on her, using her as support.

"It isn't too late to stop," she added. "I can tell you've been dueling for only a year. You can stop, be a sane person. No one will ever need to know." Then the woman disappeared. Before Solomon could crash to the ground, he pictured his home and transported himself there, then crawled onto the makeshift bed he had made for himself in a hidden alleyway before finally collapsing.


So yeah. I wrote that in bed first thing in the morning when I woke up on my phone. What do you guys think?

4 comments:

Connie said...

This is really good! I would never be able to write so well first thing in the morning...

So did they take all of Solomon's own magic, or just the magic he'd stolen from the girl? And they (the couple, and Solomon) seem to have so much power, being able to inflict huge amounts of pain without much of an effort...isn't that very dangerous?

Solomon's story is extremely interesting. Does the girl he steals from appear later on in the main story, or is she just a minor character?

Anu Polisetty said...

I am commenting to prove that I read your blog...

Hilda said...

Amazing!! i love it! And you did that in the morning? wow... Truly amazing!! Excellent job! :) *** clapping

Fira Marine said...

@Connie: Thank you! They just took back what he had stolen from the girl. So this needs a bit of explaining. There is a world, Moriem (once again, too lazy for accent mark), and it has a few lands. And each land specializes in a different type of magic. The one that they come from, it's all about pain, plus a few other things here and there. The more magic you have, the more ability. Oh and she is VERY important.

@Hilda: Thank you! Coming from the person that has published her own book...(;