The Art of Performances

I don't know what to say here honestly. How do I explain what it feels like to be dancing in a dark auditorium with the spotlight right on you? What it's like to, while making sure your expression is pleasant and everything looks effortless, worrying your head off, hoping you don't mess up? And the knowledge that every seat in that auditorium is filled and they are all looking at you.


I bet it sounds scary.

Which is the difficult part to explain. How do I explain the thrill it sends inside of you, that wrenching that forces you to just do it again. And again. And especially, when you've messed up, in front of everyone, how do you go on without dying of embarrassment? Don't forget injuries. Even if your foot hurts, your leg hurts, your head hurts, your stomach hurts, or maybe you just seriously have to use the bathroom but there is no time, all you can do is go on stage and smile as if you don't have a worry in the world.

It's the best feeling in the world.

That feeling of accomplishment when you're done, when you're offstage, and that longing that makes you wish it had never even happened because you just don't want it to be over.

Some people don't understand why I like this, like the risk of embarrassing myself in front of an audience. The thing is, it is worth the risk. People enjoy entertainment, I enjoy entertaining. So it works, doesn't it? Everything requires preparation and practice. And everything has that little freak out moment when you're not sure if it is enough. So why not expand that feeling, make it something that pleases others, and just let the feeling last a little longer?

You may be wondering why I'm talking about my performances now. Well, on Sunday, June 10th, 2012, I participated in my dance school's annual end of the year showcase. I have no words to describe it, but that it was fun. Some things just can't be described better than that. They are too much for words.

I had a solo this year. In my contemporary dance, I was the lead and had two solos. Otherwise, I blend in with the group, except for those two parts on my own. That was amazing. I've never had a solo before in a dance, but this was big for me. It was my first time performing a solo on stage. And I really want to tell you more about it but I can't! Like I said, there are no words for this.

Along with it being my first solo, this was also my first showcase en pointe. Not in that specific dance, I mean, I had six parts this year. Only two of them were real, classical ballet. That was really awesome too!

The only sad part about the showcase was when it was over. Not when I messed up my big solo. Only when it was over. Because all of us would go home for the summer. No more classes till July, and not everyone is doing the summer classes. So basically it was a repeat of the school good bye session.

Speaking of which, I'm going to stray a bit off topic from the title of the post here. Because this is something I meant to post a long time ago, but kept getting distracted from. The last day of school.

So normally this isn't that great of a deal, right? Oh yeah, blah blah, I'll miss you over the summer, see you next year! This was different. Way different.

You see, this was the last day of middle school. In the past two years, all the friends I made, I had to say goodbye to approximately half. Forever. Because face it, no matter how many times you say "Keep in touch" it's not going to happen. There are those few friends that stay with you for longer than most. But everyone gets lost somewhere.

This end of the year was double sad. I'm going to miss all of you who I won't see again, and I'm just going to say the famous words. Keep in touch! Because the last thing I need is to lose more friends due to something as stupid as changing schools. You may all be going to different high schools than me, but we can still meet otherwise, right?

<3 I'll miss everyone.

So yeah. I should also mention, since I haven't yet, that I am doing NaNoWriMo this month. Which...I am really behind on. If you think you're behind, think again. So that's why I haven't been posting lately, and I won't be for some time. I still love you all!

I also forgot to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRIYA!!!