It's Never Us

This is probably a topic that most are bored of, that most don't want to hear about anymore. But I can't ignore this. Early this morning, before leaving for school, I was informed of the Boston Marathon bombing. After arriving at home again, I decided to look it up, do some research myself instead of just asking people what happened.

I'm sure everyone will agree with me when I say this: This is a sad event that has taken place, and my prayers go to everyone who has a connection to the area and has been affected.

Does that apply to myself? Or anyone else? In a way, this has affected all of us. Our thoughts are more solemn, less free. But while we mourn for those lost, others rejoice in the death and injuries that come. After the Connecticut shooting, there were many more school shootings because they had been inspired by Adam Lanza. What guarantee do we have that this will not happen elsewhere, now that it has begun? There was another bombing yesterday after three at the JFK library. I could not find out whether they were connected to each other while searching this all up.

In that sense, this bombing has affected us. We are more afraid, more wary of being hurt. We worry for those who surround us, and hesitate about small decisions, simple ones that could end your life or sever you a limb just like this one bombing. But that isn't all.

What about the place itself, the horror of it all? One of my relatives happened to be going there, but was saved due to the fact she had gotten late in leaving. I used to live in Massachusetts. No one I had known there is hurt, but still, I find myself unable to get past the fact that there could have been. There might have been someone I knew. I don't take interest in marathons or any sport of that sort, but what are the chances that I could have been there, had my dad's job not forced us to move 3000 miles away?

And that brings me to the main focus of my post. I've lived a safe life, and I'm sure many that I know can agree with me in that we have all lived in a bubble of security. But that bubble is slowly stretching and growing weaker, and soon it will pop. Many never had that bubble, and for many it has disappeared long before. But whenever we hear about these events, we get disgusted by the people responsible, and feel sorry for those affected, but that's all. I understand there really is nothing we can do about it, and I'm not suggesting to stay in low spirits for a long time because of something you are not concerned with, but we always just carry on with our lives and leave it at that. A moment of silence. Is that all?

I know that for many what I am about to say next isn't true, that people have indeed suffered serious losses through events like these. But for most of us, we hear about this and feel relieved, it wasn't us. We weren't affected. But so many are, I feel that it isn't even a question of if we will ever be in their position anymore, but when. And when we do, people feel shower us with pity for a few minutes, and that will be all. But it has never been us. It's never us. We will be safe. Even when thinking about it logically, we have that strange little feeling lingering around, saying that we will never be there.

And so despite this all, the best I can do for those affected by the Boston Marathon incident is feel sorry for them, and send them my prayers. My heart goes to all who are affected, and if anyone who is reads this, then know that I really, honestly, and truly, feel for you.

Just News

Yeah, not much interesting. But while I've been on the topic of a message board for so long, I should probably mention one of the reasons I haven't gotten around to making it yet - which I will, I promise! But a girl who I met one day and became great friends with then never spoke to again, sent me a link to a message board she had created. It's really cool, and I'm trying to help her get it going, so here's a little shout out. Join Prisoner of Reality, it's a really cool message board for people who like books! I'm there quite often actually, and when I make our message board then I might go and affiliate with them, (whatever that does but it sounds cool (; haha) and then it would be polite if you were part of theirs also, too, right? It might help!

Okay, that was my first news. Second is that Camp NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow! So I'll warn you that I'll be a bit slower on here, but I will also update my word count and let you all know how I am doing. Is anyone else doing it? I would love to be in a cabin with all of you!

Another thing - not very important. Some of you know how obsessed with Les Miserables I am. I've been begging my parents to get it for the longest time, but I doubted it would actually happen. Then yesterday they  told me I had to finish all my cleaning and work and then I would get a surprise! I also wasn't allowed to touch any electronics or books until I did so, so it wasn't as much of a reward as a getting ungrounded chore. Which is why I wasn't online yesterday, by the way. Anyway, I did my work and guess what! I got Les Mis! I watched it yesterday, and it was as good as it was the first time, if not better, now that I knew what was going on.

The Cbox is gone.

In other news, my spring break started on Friday. I like to think it was well earned, but if I'm honest with myself, I know that I don't do any work ever. Haha!

Lastly, I want to thank all of you who have been commenting on my posts! You have no idea how happy that makes me.

Let's make a topic for discussion. What are your Easter plans or break plans or plans in general? Sound off in the comments. Please?

Happy Easter!

Clockwork Princess Review (no spoilers)

Looks like my Maze Runner review is going to have to wait just a little longer. Oh well.

And my excuse for not posting for so long, is once again, too busy.


So I finished reading Clockwork Princess about half an hour ago. And I feel so overwhelmed and I want to talk about it so badly - but I can't. Because no one I know has finished reading it yet. And I won't give out spoilers, no longer do I do that. So this review will be spoiler free. Maybe later I'll put up one with spoilers, when I can rant my heart out. For now I'll have to settle with drowning in my own tears in the safety of my room where no one can see me.

For those of you that don't know, Clockwork Princess is the third and final book of The Infernal Devices trilogy, by Cassandra Clare. Her books talk about the world of shadowhunters, a group of people with special abilities that hunt down demons and kill them before they cause trouble.

This series focused on the life of a girl named Tessa, who is unlike anyone ever seen before, in the mater of what is in her blood, and her, ah, power.

The entire series had been leading up to something, the tension increasing with each book. But the last thing I was expecting was the intensity in which it actually happened. So far it has been mostly action and humor, mixed with a tinge of sadness, but there was this feeling while reading the whole book, that made you sad and tense the entire time, and felt little relief at the humor hidden in the lines. It is difficult to describe the feeling. I think that Tessa does it best, with one of her own quotes from this very book itself.

"“You know that feeling,” she said, “when you are reading a book, and you know that it is going to be a tragedy; you can feel the cold and darkness coming, see the net drawing tight around the characters who live and breathe on the pages. But you are tied to the story as if being dragged behind a carriage and you cannot let go or turn the course aside.”"



Yes, Tessa. I definitely know that feeling. I had it while I was reading this. The whole time.

I rate this book: ***** (out of five). I know, I am a bit generous, but it had me turning the pages, sneaking it in class. Today I was seen by four teachers reading it, two of which got upset and told me to put it away. My English teacher didn't really care, he lets me get away with everything, and in art we got pretty much a free period today. If my French teacher had caught me...*shudders* I don't think you would ever hear from me again.

Anyway. To those of you who know what I am talking about.

The Consul is having issues with Charlotte, for who knows why. Well I sort of do know why, but as if I'm going to tell you. (; the love triangle between Tessa, Will, and Jem continues on powerfully, and Will tries his hardest to hide his feelings to make sure Jem will never find out, or become unhappy. Meanwhile, Jem is getting, much, much worse and his chances of survival are lower than they have ever been.

I liked this book because of, like I already mentioned, the mood it put you in. You can't tear yourself away from it, but you can't stand reading it either, and you end up feeling as if you were about to cry, and would had there been tears in your eyes, It feels like you've already cried it all out, even though you haven't, and have no more tears left in you.

There was a lot of character development, and a lot of insight into everyone's mind, including those who didn't have anything in their point of view. You could see their feelings so clearly, so raw and exposed, and vulnerable. You can see how Jem's health affects Will, and find yourself hoping that no matter what, whether you are on team Will or team Jem, that you find yourself hoping against all odds that Jem will live.

And that epilogue! I was eating out at a restaurant while reading that, no doubt being a bore to my family, but what could I do? I finished the book there, and although my parents couldn't care less about what goes on the silly fantasy books I read, I had to tell them everything cause I needed to get it out. When I was reading that epilogue...well you'll know when you read it.


Hmph. I had had a lot of thoughts on this review before, but now I can't seem to find any. If I think of anything more, I'll comment it.


But basically, in all, I LOVED Clockwork Princess, and encourage you all to read Cassandra Clare's books, starting with The Mortal Instruments and then moving on to The Infernal Devices. And if you have read The Mortal Instruments, then read The Infernal Devices, and vice versa. Aaand, if you've read it all but not Clockwork Princess yet, then I assure you, this book was simply amazing.

Disappointment

I am not sure why I am even doing this. Why I am posting about this, why I am posting at all. Why do I have a blog? Usually it's meant for people to come and see, read, and comment, or even criticize or completely insult my writing and say I have no talent whatsoever. That's all very nice, but usually it only works when people come and look at it.

My last post has been up for a week. I put an actual meaningful post up, and no one cares. I would be surprised if anyone even bothers to look at this one. I even included some art in my last one, if you could call that art, but not a single person cares. The last time I put up one of my drawings, which was ten times worse than this one, I received so many compliments. This time, not even a single person said a word, not even a bad one.

This all comes down to I am disappointed and disheartened. Why do I have a blog anyway? I'm tempted to take it down. Actually, seriously, considering it. I write for other people to read, if it were for myself, then it wouldn't even be a blog. Tell me if you actually want me to keep writing on it.

I'll give one more week for the Cbox, too, tell me if you actually would like it to stick around.


Here's a crazy idea I had. I was helping my mom create a message board for her business last night, when I was hit with the sudden urge to make my own again. Yeah, yeah, I know, why should I make something else that no one would go to when already no one comes here? Well, I was thinking, that instead of it being "my" message board, it could be something for all of us blog owners. It could be a totally writing blog based message board, and we could each have our own forum. And all the blog owners could be admins. We could talk about books, writing, etc! What do you think? I really want to do something like this, and I think it could really help connect with a lot of people too. Opinions?

By the way, I finished The Maze Runner Trilogy and its Prequel, so I'll be putting up a review soon. A spoiler-free review.

There is Always a Catch (Snippet)

Due to the fact that I am trying to promote my new blog, whatever I post on there can only be read by those who actually take the time to go and read.

"I find it ironic how I apologize for disappearing, then reappear again after that after about twice as long. But that isn't really what this post is about. This post is about an observation I made about real life, and observation that could help me with my writing, and possibly yours. *speaks to the imaginary followers and evil minions who read what I say*

Basically, as my title suggests, there is always a catch. You can look at someone whom you wish to be, someone who nearly always has life good. Perhaps they have a lot of friends, a good social life, they are allowed to have fun a lot of the time. But behind that, there is always a catch. Perhaps they keep many secrets, perhaps their parents are too strict. Or maybe, on a more serious note, they are seriously sick. I know someone exactly like that, she has a really good social life, always has a ton of people listening to her, but she is extremely unhealthy, and every few days she has some sort of horrible ache or pain.

That makes me start thinking about everyone else. What is the catch that can ruin them? Just because I'm in a generous mood right now, I'll say my own."

And that's all I'll share with you for now. To read the full post, you can either click here: Hardly Alive or click on it in my blog list down below. Using that, you'll know whenever I post something new.

Oh, and follow me please! I have absolutely no followers, no viewers, and no comment-ers there yet.

I know I said I would post more of the Elnair backstory on Friday, but the entire weekend I was working on an art project. And like literally, I took it with me to dance and worked on it in my five minute breaks. I was working every minute of my days. So I'll post a picture of how it turned out. I think if you click on it, it gets bigger.

So this is a really bad quality picture, and I was editing it during school too, so this isn't the final copy, but very close. It's just missing a few outlines. It looks better in person, but nothing close to good. You know, I've always found it hard to define the word good.

Want to give me your own original definition of "good"?

Oh, and I'm thinking of taking the Cbox down. Opinions?

Interesting Backstories

  I let out a soft chuckle, brushing back the wisps of hair beginning to fall in my eyes. It is, of course, one of the most irritating predicaments, to have ones hair constantly crawling down his forehead, no matter how sticky or dry, and slowly manage to poke its way into his eye and wait there, like a prickly bush that just won't move. "That is a nice joke," I called to the one managing the reins of the horse-driven carriage. "How long did you say we would be again, until we arrive at the lodge where I will be staying tonight?" Journeying along the edge of Moriem's territory, where Achmund reaches the uncharted territories, the days and nights were quiet, and not many people were often to be seen, making it especially difficult to find shelter in times of need. I wondered how the people who lived here managed.
  "Not too much longer, sir," he called back in a quiet voice. "Do you see the water in the distance? That is River -placeholder #1-, and just next to it is a small settlement. The lodge is just on the outskirts of it."
  "-placeholder #2-, how many times have I told you to call me -placeholder #3-? We are just friends here."
  I thought I could see his shoulders shake slightly from suppressed laughter. "Well, sir, we are merely more than acquaintances, and I prefer to keep my business short-lived and formal. Making friends does not do when always on the move."
  "Understood," I replied, understanding what he meant. "And how close are we now to Erom?"
  "Just over the river, that is the borderline actually. You're very close." I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, and gazed outside the window for the rest of the ride.
  Just as we were passing between the houses, I caught a few glimpses of a man beating a boy horribly. The boy could hardly have been eight years old, and it was behind a fence. I assumed the man was his father, and I had no right to step in even if I got the chance. We were just leaving the street when the pair appeared at the back door of their shabby, torn house, and the man twisted his arm so that he had clearly broken it, before throwing the boy down onto the road and kicking him more.
  I opened my mouth to say something, to stop the man, to stop the driver so that I could intercede, but before a sound could escape my throat, the driver's sincere voice came drifting to my ear. "That's how it works here. There is nothing we can do about that. Just stay away from it all, and make sure you don't get caught up in it." And that was the end of it.

But still I couldn't push down the repulsion that invaded my mind. After paying the driver, and finding my room in the lodge, I couldn't help but find out what had happened to the poor boy. I left immediately in the direction I remember the house being. Fortunately, my sense of direction didn't lead me astray, and I found the house. The back door, which was visible and could be accessed from the front, opened up into a wide expanse of dust and desert.
  I didn't know whether to be thankful or horrified that I found the boy so easily. He was right where the man had pushed him down and thrown him in the dirt. The moment I saw his limp body laying there, my first thought was, Is he dead? I rushed toward him for a closer look, after a quick glance to make sure the man wasn't around. The boy was curled on his left side, arm crumpled under him, other arm stretched above his face so that it couldn't be seen. He laid in the tight ball, one of pain. Gently, I lifted his right arm off his face and set him so that his back was pressed against the ground, dirtying his already filthy shirt. He jerked back once I put him like his, his dark green eyes locked on me fearfully. He tried to squirm away from me, but he was weak and injured, and I hardly had to exert any force to hold him down.
  "Wh-who are you?" he stammered, his expression static as he gave up trying to struggle.
  I opened my mouth to tell him my name, then remembered my plans of not letting anyone know who I am. "I'll tell you after you tell me," I replied, unable to contain a small smirk.
  He looked uncertain for a few seconds, then shook his head. "Why would I tell you that?"
  "I want to help you," said I simply, not wanting to reveal anything, but also wanting to show that I meant no harm. He didn't quite believe me, though. He tried to escape from me again, and when failure resulted a second time, he stared at me warily.
  "How can I be sure I can trust you?"
  "You can't. But think about the odds of survival based on your options."
  That seemed to grab his attention more, and the look of fear was just slightly replaced by curiosity and helplessness. "Meaning?" he whispered.
  I hesitated. I had to phrase this right, or it would all have been for nothing. "Well, I'm guessing this house is where you live, am I correct?" When he nodded, I continued. "If you take my help, I could either ensure your survival, or I could turn traitor and kill you, or enslave you. If you don't want my help, and you work things out on your own, then either you will become well off, you will die, or you will have to go back and be tortured more. Correct?"
  The boy opened and close his mouth several times, thinking about what I had said. Finally he nodded, and I asked him which one seemed the better odds. "I guess you would...," he replied reluctantly after thinking it through several times. His brow was scrunched up into a frown.
  "Do you accept it?"
  He nodded. Without a moment to waste, I started to lift him up. When I touched his arm, he flinched and kicked me as hard as he could, and I realized that was the arm that had been broken. Apologizing, I started to pick him up again, using his right arm instead. As I held the arm, his long sleeve feel back off his forearm, revealing black marks branded onto his skin. "You're...a slave!" I exclaimed, staring at it in astonishment, not peeling my eyes off.
 The boy jerked back and tried to cover it up. His eyes were wide and once more fearful as he glared at me. "Are you going to send me back?" he asked, his voice filled with emotion.
  I shook my head and resumed lifting him off the ground as gently as I can, determined not to hurt him anymore, and cradled him against my chest. "No, of course not. Slavery is bad. I didn't know it still existed."
  My answer seemed to satisfy him enough, and he relaxed in my arms, letting his head fall back. "Well it does," he replied sourly, his voice full of malice that I wouldn't have expected from a boy of eight. "Who are you anyway? You never told me."
  I smiled to myself. "My name is -placeholder #3-. And yours?"
  "Elnair."


So yeah. A little glimpse into Elnair's past. Opinions? Ideas for names that could fit into the placeholders?

And Tomorrow Never Came

I made two promises.

1. Tomorrow I will post the rest of what I had started about Azura and Elnair.
2. Tomorrow I will make a post about Les Miserables.

And tomorrow never came.

Life of a procrastinator, huh. Can anyone relate?

Well it wasn't totally procrastination. It also had to do with the minor fact that I am without a computer, and using another's is awkward because none of my information is on it. Not to mention all of the computers in my house are slow, it is just that mine is the worst.

Since I am not in the most creative mood currently, I shall focus on Les Mis today and the story on the tomorrow that will hopefully come.

I went to see Les Miserables with my friend one morning during Christmas break. I had not known it would even be a musical until she told me, about half an hour before the movie. So my expectations slid a bit lower. I don't like musicals. They're silly.

I soon forgot it was a musical after watching it. The songs, the tunes, they all came as words. The moment someone said a sentence not in tune, that was when I realized it had not been like that the entire time,

I had not liked the movie. It was not bad, but it didn't quite make a mark in my brain. Then I went to school, where a lot of people had seen it, and would sing the songs, and listening to the songs made me realize how amazing that movie was.

My favorite character was Javert. He had an amazing voice, and his character wasn't "bad". It was just too good. If you understand what I mean.

Second favorite was Eponine. She impresses me. So this boy you really like keeps talking about this other girl, who you have every reason to dislike, and then right when she is about to be taken care of and taken from your and his lives, what do you do? Oh, you scream and help her escape, and just accept the fact that he doesn't like you. I am impressed.

Favorite songs: Look Down, Stars, Javert's Suicide, Drink With Me, On My Own, One Day More, Do You Hear The People Sing, The Confrontation, I Dreamed a Dream, Master of the House, ABC Cafe/Red and Black, Empty Chairs at Empty Tables  ----- I'm sorry, was that almost everything?

I want to read the book now, but I only have the abridged version so I'm reading that.

For those of you who noticed that very few songs of the movie are actually on the soundtrack, I found someone online who has everything. Literally, everything. So if you're interested, I can send them to you, or give you the Les Mis playlist I made with all 60 songs.

Anyway, discuss with me!

And by the way, I created a wordpress blog: Hardly Alive. Follow me please!